This morning I received a request from a great friend of mine; a pastor I’ve known for almost 20 years. He asked if I knew of any good counselors he might recommend to a couple experiencing difficult times in their marriage. I sent him a list within a couple of minutes but I was plagued by a gnawing sense that more needed to be said. This is what I wrote:

You are an excellent pastor and YOU ARE capable of helping this couple either together or individually.

What they really need is Spiritual Direction – not therapy. And you are more than qualified to provide Spiritual Direction!

• You can show them how to pray the Psalms – especially the Psalms crying out to God for help.
• You can carefully listen to them and sensitively pray with them.
• You could work through a book with them. Here are some suggestions:

            As for Me and My House – Walter Wangerin

            Mystery of Marriage – Mike Mason

            Loving Each Other – Gary Smalley

            Love & Respect – Emerson Eggerichs

            Choosing to Forgive Workbook – Frank Minirth

            Soulcraft – Douglas Webster

• You can ask lots of questions – penetrating questions that require much more than a “yes” or “no” and wait for them to reply.
• You could even give them homework.

I trust I’ve not burdened you but I will repeat: You are a wonderful pastor and you could speak wisdom, mercy and grace into these lives.