Live in the Fullness of God

Do you ever find yourself wishing that life were different? I’ve caught myself doing this lately! But I’m learning that while it may not be possible for all of our outward circumstances to improve to make life better, it is possible for the quality of our inner life to change so dramatically that we begin to experience life as it was meant to be.

The apostle Paul was a great example of this principle. In Acts 16 we see Paul and Silas in prison, singing! I have often wondered why more people do not experience that level of inner tranquility that would allow them to sing praises to God even in the most horrendous circumstances. (First-century prisons would make twenty-first century prisons look like luxury hotels by comparison!)

Paul’s New Testament writings reveal an ability to live a victorious life in spite of the most severe outward circumstances. He encourages Christians in spite of his own hardships-like being shipwrecked, going hungry, and being publicly stoned and even imprisoned. What an amazing attitude he received from the Lord.

Ephesians 3:14-21 encourages us to experience the victorious life that Christ made possible. “14For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15from whom his whole family[a] in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever!”

Heavenly Father we thank you for the gift of Christ and praise you for making it possible for us to experience the fullness of Christ through the presence of the Holy Spirit. Keep our minds and hearts focused on you. Give us courage to welcome the transforming power of the Holy Spirit especially when that means significant change. Give us eyes to see and ears to hear. And help us to be doers of the Word! Amen.

Blessed Be the Name of the Lord

At the conference this morning, our worship leader read Job 1:13-20 and then led us in singing Matt Redman’s song, Blessed Be Your Name, which was written based on the passage from Job. As we sang and the tears streamed down my face I realized it was time to share what I journaled on Sunday night, September 13 – two days after Lois died. What follows is what I wrote when I was by myself – no one else in the house – just me sitting in front of a blank screen with Matt Redman’s lyrics going though my mind. I added some comments today which are indicated with { }.

Oh God, this pain is almost too much. Lois is gone. I know she is with You; no more cancer, no more neuropathy, no more nausea but she isn’t here with me. I am grateful that she didn’t suffer for a long time; that this wasn’t a long, drawn out death, but Lois isn’t here anymore! I keep thinking about all the things we still wanted to do; all the conversations we planned to have with our kids and others, and the churches we wanted to visit together one last time . . . {While driving home from the hospital on Aug 19 we made a list of priorities for what we thought would be at least four months. The Dr’s prognosis was two to six months so we thought four months was a good guess.}

Father, I don’t have any regrets but is it wrong for me to want more? Am I being too selfish to want to hold her hand, to hear her voice, to have one more opportunity to make her a cup of hot chocolate or warm up a rice bag? I really do want to be able to sing this song but I keep thinking about Job – his material things were taken away – we have very little and I can’t relate. His children and their spouses and, I assume, his grandchildren were all taken away and I can’t imagine the pain that would cause, but he still had his wife. Is it wrong for me to complain that I have it worse than Job? {When I read this now – six weeks later – I am amazed at God’s patience with me!}

Lord, Job could still praise you after he lost so much. I need to praise you again. Lord, I feel like I’m in the desert; the wilderness. I’m very aware that the pain of this grief will be yet another journey; another adventure. I’m torn. On the one hand I want you to take the pain away and yet I can’t bear the thought of NOT grieving; of not having this sorrow.

So Father, help me say it – even if its with clenched teeth and tight fists – help me say it and mean it:

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Blessed Be Your Name

by Matt Redman

Blessed be your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where the streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
When I’m found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say…
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

Blessed be your name
When the sun’s shining down on me
When the world’s all as it should be
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there’s pain in the offering
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say…
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, Blessed be your name

Grieving is Tough Work

Have you ever been the victim of well-intentioned people who, in a time of grief, their hand on your shoulder and say, “Give it time, you’ll get over it.” I know they mean well and I understand that with the passage of time the moments of grief grow farther apart and, in some ways less intense, but how does one “get over” a thirty-four year marriage?

Lois died on September 11 and I am now doing the work of grieving. We were the closest of friends; she was my main advisor, and a trusted confidant. We were lovers and parents, teachers and leaders who shared values and priorities, pain and happiness, failure and success. We were partners who could talk for hours but be just as comfortable being quiet as long as we were together. In the 12,435 days which made up the years of our relationship there were only 67 days when we didn’t at least talk on the phone and those were times when I was in a foreign country where telephone service wasn’t available. Yes, I took the time to calculate the number. It’s part of the work of grieving for me.

How does one “get over” the absence of someone so close? I would be embarrassed to admit how many times the past few weeks I’ve had to stop myself from doing something ridiculous. I will share that numerous times I’ve ended a phone call and started to dial Lois’ phone to tell her about the “crazy call I just had!” Or, I’ve received an email and started up the steps to tell Lois who just sent a note. Sometimes in the middle of the night I wake up wondering why Lois isn’t in bed only to remember . . .

Working through all this is the tough work of grief. It’s not bad work and I’m not depressed or discouraged with the on-going task of grieving but I suspect that it would be easy to ignore the task and hope I “get over it.”

Losing a loved one does not mean the rest of us stop living. Nor does it mean we ignore that someone very significant has died. The tough work of grief drives us to God who guides and comforts us. Only God can begin to fill the void in our lives. Anything else we turn to fails to speak to the grief.

In the middle of sadness and loss there is ample evidence of God. That confirmation comes from the Bible in passages like Psalm 31 and Isaiah 51 and 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18. There are also books that help us in this tough work. I find two especially helpful: “Good Grief” by Granger E. Westburg published by Augsburg, and “A Grace Disguised” by Jerry Sittser published by Zondervan.

God calls us to acknowledge that He is in control of everything – even the death of a loved one. The sadness and loss we experience is part of the fabric of life. Embracing the tough work of grief is part of His plan and, ultimately, its satisfying work.

What about you? How are you coping with the tough work of grieving in your life? Maybe you’ve lost a job or had a marriage end in divorce or experienced the failure of a business. All of us will be touched in some way by sadness and loss because we live in a broken, fallen world where bad things happen to good people. Grief comes to us in many forms and working through that grief is one of life’s most rewarding challenges.

Jesus said, "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat; I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for? Matthew 16:23-25 The Message