I Can Do Nothing By Myself

Today, January 21, 2015, would’ve been Lois’ 62nd Birthday. I’ve received phone calls, texts, emails – thanks for your thoughtfulness.

The past three months have been interesting as I’ve navigated through being a permanent pastor without Lois by my side. I miss the conversations, help remembering names, and times we spent praying for and with people. I miss her praying for me! Once again being in a leadership role in the rhythm of church life has surfaced anew all the ways we complimented each other. She was my partner!

Job said, “The Lord gives and the Lord takes away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1:21) Little did I know how many times I would repeat those words. Sometimes I mean them. Other times I repeat them because I want to mean them.

There are times when I think, “I can’t do this” but at the same time I recall Jesus’ words: “I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself. . . “ (John 5:19). As someone who is striving to follow Jesus better, I too, can do nothing by myself. And so I am learning (still) to follow more closely, watch more carefully, listen more intently, pray more fervently . . .

I’ve said this many times and it bears repeating: Lois’ cancer and death does not define me. I am defined by Christ in me and that is my hope. It is God, through the power of His Spirit, who strengthens, encourages, compels, and empowers me to live each day for His Glory and the expansion of His Kingdom.