Blessed Be the Name of the Lord

At the conference this morning, our worship leader read Job 1:13-20 and then led us in singing Matt Redman’s song, Blessed Be Your Name, which was written based on the passage from Job. As we sang and the tears streamed down my face I realized it was time to share what I journaled on Sunday night, September 13 – two days after Lois died. What follows is what I wrote when I was by myself – no one else in the house – just me sitting in front of a blank screen with Matt Redman’s lyrics going though my mind. I added some comments today which are indicated with { }.

Oh God, this pain is almost too much. Lois is gone. I know she is with You; no more cancer, no more neuropathy, no more nausea but she isn’t here with me. I am grateful that she didn’t suffer for a long time; that this wasn’t a long, drawn out death, but Lois isn’t here anymore! I keep thinking about all the things we still wanted to do; all the conversations we planned to have with our kids and others, and the churches we wanted to visit together one last time . . . {While driving home from the hospital on Aug 19 we made a list of priorities for what we thought would be at least four months. The Dr’s prognosis was two to six months so we thought four months was a good guess.}

Father, I don’t have any regrets but is it wrong for me to want more? Am I being too selfish to want to hold her hand, to hear her voice, to have one more opportunity to make her a cup of hot chocolate or warm up a rice bag? I really do want to be able to sing this song but I keep thinking about Job – his material things were taken away – we have very little and I can’t relate. His children and their spouses and, I assume, his grandchildren were all taken away and I can’t imagine the pain that would cause, but he still had his wife. Is it wrong for me to complain that I have it worse than Job? {When I read this now – six weeks later – I am amazed at God’s patience with me!}

Lord, Job could still praise you after he lost so much. I need to praise you again. Lord, I feel like I’m in the desert; the wilderness. I’m very aware that the pain of this grief will be yet another journey; another adventure. I’m torn. On the one hand I want you to take the pain away and yet I can’t bear the thought of NOT grieving; of not having this sorrow.

So Father, help me say it – even if its with clenched teeth and tight fists – help me say it and mean it:

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Blessed Be Your Name

by Matt Redman

Blessed be your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where the streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
When I’m found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say…
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

Blessed be your name
When the sun’s shining down on me
When the world’s all as it should be
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there’s pain in the offering
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say…
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, Blessed be your name

6 thoughts on “Blessed Be the Name of the Lord”

  1. Jim…..I have had nothing to compare with the loss you have endured. But all you say and you’re grieving is okay! And Jim you know exactly what is all encompassed is that OK
    Your friend in Christ
    Phil

  2. It sounds strange, but I’m so glad you and Lois had such a love that hurts so bad when she is gone. The love will never be gone nor the memories. No one knows unless we go through it but it really helps us to know more specifically how to pray for you when you share like this. Only God can comfort this kind of pain – and He will.

  3. Thanks Jim for sharing your feeling which helps you, because the pressure needs to be released. It is released as a good example for those who have gone through this kind of pain and for those who will have to go through it sometime in the future. We need to know that He shares our pain. Blessed be your name
    On the road marked with suffering
    Though there’s pain in the offering
    Blessed be your name

    Lord help us to not forget YOUR Everlasting LOVE.

  4. I can offer personal assurance that the Lord’s name is being blessed in the midst of your time of loss and grief. Thanks for sharing this path of brokenness with us.

  5. All I can say is my heart hurts with you, Joy, Kari & Peter as you face the rest of this life without Lois. Even though my path crossed with hers for a short time and not even frequently at that, I appreciated her and admired her as a mom and as a woman in ministry.

  6. I sit here trying to write out a graveside service for my wife. She took 8 years to die of a rare brain disease. She died on 21 Dec. My 3 children want the verse of Job 1/21 inscribed on a cross to remind them of the bitter sweet experience of the death of their believing mother. The words come easy. Most of the time we can mean them. We look forward to heaven.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.