Category Archives: nKurEdge

Intentional Dependence

Carl was cruelly, painfully, and wrongfully terminated from the church he served as pastor – a political move by miss-informed elders who manipulated others for selfish reasons. Carl and JoLynn were bruised and beat-up but the wounds were not fatal nor did they result in permanent damage. When I met them in 1991 I recognized and related to the pain but was also impressed with their hope for what God was preparing them to do in the future. They were totally depending on God.

They were invited to join the same ministry I was working with – but that turned out to be a detour which ended in a road block. Next, Carl and JoLynn thought God was calling them as missionaries and began raising funds but after two years the hoped for support totaled less than $200 per month in pledges. Another detour and road block. More time to practice intentional dependence.

There were more detours, more unexpected turns, including a return to school for Carl to earn a doctorate in counseling. The test of patience was excruciating, but slowly God cracked open doors and cautiously Carl and JoLynn stepped through. It was a time of intensely and intently depending on God as they found themselves with pastors and missionaries in Eastern Europe and Ukraine.

About ten years ago, God directed them to Austria where Carl and JoLynn began to host retreats for missionaries and pastors. They found themselves trusting God in every way as those retreats gSummer-pic-of-castleave birth to intensive, one-on-one counseling with ministry couples; often for two weeks at a time. God is using Carl and JoLynn to touch the lives of scores of people in ministry.

For Carl & JoLynn, intentionally depending on God has not gotten any easier; it’s still a daily exercise of self-discipline. No one has written a multi-million dollar check. Every time a couple shows up; every time they travel to another location for ministry; every day is a new reminder of how utterly dependent they are.

I’ve known Carl and JoLynn for 24 years and we just spent a few days together at a conference in Wisconsin. As we talked and shared I was reminded that life has not turned out the way they had planned but God has revealed His plan and provided in miraculous ways to accomplish some amazing things. It all comes back to their decision to depend on God.

What about you? What tough turns has life brought your way? Do you find yourself on a detour that has you confused? Have you run into a road block? Wherever you are, in whatever situation you find yourself, I challenge you to be intentionally dependent on God.

Boll Weevil Monument

In southern Alabama there is a town called Enterprise, where one can find a monument to an insect: the Mexican boll weevil. In 1895 the boll weevil destroyed field after field of cotton, the major cash crop of the county. Desperate to survive the farmers lboll weevil 2ooked for something that would grow in the soil and climate; they knew they had to diversity or die.

Soon they were planting peanuts and by 1919 the county’s peanut harvest was 10 times greater than best cotton crop on record. That year a fountain and monument were built and the inscription reads: “In profound appreciation of the boll weevil and what it has done as the herald of prosperity this monument was erected by the citizens of Enterprise, Coffee County, Alabama.” Out of a time of struggle and crisis had come new growth and success.

Adversity prodboll weevil 1uced blessing.

That’s a difficult lesson – one we work hard to avoid. We want to escape trouble and hard times. We often pray for God to rescue us from problems and make everything nice and easy. We want to be comfortable!

Please don’t miss-read this! I’m not suggesting we start building monuments to a divorce, bankruptcy, or cancer diagnosis. But maybe we should consider the possibility that God is leading through those trials to a greater purpose.

Evil, enemies, hardship, pain, grief, foolishness – all have a purpose. They expose the deception of Satan. The truth is all evil has already been defeated. All enemies have already been scattered. All folly has already been exposed!

Instead, our strength is in the Lord who gives us the spiritual eyesight to see what Joseph saw. God is exalted forever. In light of that truth and principle, all else fails to have importance.

“Senseless people do not know, fools do not understand, that though the wicked spring up like grass and all evildoers flourish, they will be forever destroyed. But you, O LORD, are exalted forever.” Psalm 92:6-9

I Am Not Perfect

no perfect people

Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote, “Many Christians are unthinkably horrified when a real sinner is discovered among the righteous. So we remain alone with our sin, living in lies and hypocrisy . . . He who is alone with his sin is utterly alone.”

Not one of us is perfect. We know that about each other but most of the time we find it convenient to ignore that reality about ourselves. I don’t just make mistakes or mess up – I sin.

It’s time to stop blaming the environment, a spouse, our parents, a boss, or our neighbors. No longer can we go on ignoring our responsibility to live life according to God’s standards instead of our preferences. Just because we see someone else acting in sin does not make it right. We can’t justify our sin based on what “everyone else is doing.”

Too many times, what starts as a confession often ends up an excuse: “I didn’t mean to yell at you; I was having a bad day.” There is no excuse for sin. There is no one to blame. Don’t ignore it or pretend to not notice.

It’s time to admit it: I am not perfect.

“To confess means to own up to the fact that our behavior wasn’t just the result of bad parenting, poor genes, jealous siblings, or a chemical imbalance from too many Twinkies. Any or all of these factors may be involved. Human behavior is a complex thing. But confession means saying that somewhere in the mix was a choice, and the choice was made by us, and it does not need to be excused, explained, or even understood. The choice needs to be forgiven. The slate has to be wiped clean.” (John Ortberg in “The Life You Always Wanted”)

Sin must be confessed. Repentance must be genuine. Change must take place in our lives. In fact, genuine, authentic repentance always results in change.

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives. My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense–Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world.” (1 John 1:8-2:2 NIV)

SIX YEARS AGO

jimloissmall300x201

As the U.S. observes the 14th anniversary of the terrorist attacks in New York, Washington D.C., and Pennsylvania, I am rejoicing in the sixth anniversary of my wife Lois arriving in Glory! Six years ago on September 11, 2009, at 11:50 am, Lois was completely healed; the cancer was gone, she received a perfect body, and she joined the crowds in Heaven who arrived ahead of her.

There are still times when I miss her! Especially in the past ten months serving as a pastor. It’s something I never imagined doing without her and it’s a reminder that my strength comes from the Lord and I have to rely on Him.

I did not lose Lois – I know exactly where she is. Her skin and bones were left on the couch in the living room where she took her last breath. Her soul, the real Lois, is with God the Father and His Son, Jesus. Fortunately we have the Holy Spirit to comfort, encourage us, and remind us of the reality of eternal life.

Lightning & Thunder

I was driving west last night and as it grew dark I noticed all the lightning. As the darkness deepened and traffic on I-70 decreased, I watched the lightning flash. Sometimes it looked parallel to the horizon and other times it was definitely vertical with bright flashes which I guessed meant something had been struck. It wasn’t raining and there were no vehicles around and I was mesmerized by the intensely brilliant flashes of light. Each time, for a millisecond, it seemed as if everything was lit up; then darkness; then the first rumble and even over the road noise, it was as if I could both feel and hear the thunder roar.

The further west I drove the more it became obvious: I was driving into a storm. Soon there were so many flashes of lightning that they were individually indistinguishable. I pulled over for a much needed rest stop and for a few minutes stood outside watching the light show, feeling and hearing the thunder. It was loud. So loud I almost covered my ears and closed my eyes.

No. I wanted my ears to hurt and my eyes to be overwhelmed by the light.

I wanted to experience this storm in all its majestic ferocity. I kept thinking about the Apostle John’s vision of heaven: “From the throne came flashes of lightning, rumblings and peals of thunder.” (Rev 4:5)  In Psalm 18:12-13 David sings: “Out of the brightness of his presence clouds advanced, with hailstones and bolts of lightning. The Lord thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded.”

This was a rehearsal for being in God’s presence.

Suddenly the rain came. In sheets. Before I could get back in the car, I was soaked. But it was good.

As I drove the final miles to the hotel, I thought about this great God we worship. He is in the quiet as well as the roar. Darkness cannot hide him and brilliant flashes of light cannot reveal him. God is in the calm and the storm.

Prayer: Forgive us, God, for being so impertinent that we attempt to dictate how you should appear, sound and act. Give us eyes to see you – always, ever – in the thunderous volume and the painful glare as well as in the silence.

RESPONDING TO THE SCOTUS DECISION

Several people have asked versions of the question: “How do we respond to people (especially those who aren’t followers of Jesus) about SCOTUS redefining marriage?”

This is a timely concern and deserves an answer (or at least an attempt).

Arching over any response should be a prayerful awareness that our words, tone of voice, and body language represent Christ, so let’s be careful to communicate grace and unconditional love. Let’s avoid arguments and debates – even heated conversations; just walk away. Here are a few bullet points to think about and possibly use in response.

  • Jesus loves homosexuals. Because Jesus is our model and we seek to follow him, we too, love people who find themselves in the reality of same-sex attraction.
  • We are disappointed that individual sexual autonomy has driven SCOTUS to re-define marriage – a concept that is not only Biblical but which has been the universal moral standard for the social and cultural construct of the family since the first time history was recorded.
  • We are concerned because the Court failed to outline if and how to protect the rights of people and institutions who, for religious reasons, will steadfastly retain the definition of marriage as a union between one man and one woman.
  • We are alarmed because the exalted right of individual sexual autonomy seems to lead to a “slippery slope” where bigamy, polygamy, pedophilia, and bestiality might also become legally protected.

We will distance ourselves from both the left and the right. We won’t succumb to societies’ pressure to celebrate homosexual practice but we don’t hate those who embrace homosexuality. We acknowledge the clarity of God’s Word which teaches us to say, “That’s wrong” and “I love you.”

Tim Keller, the articulate pastor from New York, puts it this way, “We’re far worse than we ever imagined and far more loved than we could ever dream.”

I believe this is the time for the church, the wholly devoted, committed followers of Jesus, to reach out in grace and love and say, “You’re wrong and you’re loved.” Jonathan Parnell says, “We have this incomparable opportunity to let the Gospel shine.”

TRUST GOD

Bad things happen to good people.

We live in a broken world. It all started in a perfect Garden,  thousands of years ago when the first humans were unable to obey a simple command and sin began to multiply in this world. Since that time, sin, which is at work in all of Adam and Eve’s descendants, compels us to be in charge of our own lives; to live without God. Living in a sinful world means we deal with accidents and sickness and all kinds of tragedies that happen to good and bad people alike.

If it were not for God’s mercy (when He withholds what we really deserve for our sinfulness) and grace (when He generously gives us what we could never deserve) our lives would be filled with the horror of constant tragedy, pain, and separation from all that is good. At this very instant, God’s goodness is being poured out all over the world because He loves us in spite of our rejection of His only Son, Jesus as the Master, King and leader of our lives.

Is God powerful enough to stop tragedies like the death of a teenager in a car accident? Yes, absolutely! And He does prevent accidents all the time – but not every time. That’s what we find so difficult to understand and accept.

Why doesn’t God stop all the bad things from happening? Because He loves us. God understands how foolish it would be to let us have our own way all the time. If I got my way and what I want every time, I would soon think of myself as god.

We have finite minds and that makes it difficult to understand an infinite God. Every day we grapple with the limitations of being human. But God is not limited. We can only guess what might happen tomorrow but God knows every detail.

Don’t reject God because He doesn’t measure up to your standard. My measuring stick and your standard is broken and faulty. God is trustworthy because He is all-powerful, always present, and knows everything. Even when everything seems to be going wrong, God is still in charge.

Trust God.

Not a Private Spiritual Journey

Franklin* waved to me when he walked in the door of the restaurant where I was eating by myself. He sat down and talked as if we were long-lost buddies. Actually, I hardly knew him and struggled to recall his last name. I’d seen him in church a few times and vaguely remember a short conversation we once had. He said, “I know you think I need to be in church, pastor, but I enjoy most Sunday mornings out hunting in the timber. I think that’s worship when I can just breathe in the wonder of God’s creation. Don’t you think that’s just as good as being in church?” (*not his real name)

I said, “I think it’s great to enjoy God’s creative work, but that’s not a substitute for being part of a household of faith. It’s not an “either/or” choice but a “both/and.” We cannot ignore the need for personal time with God or enjoying His creation but we also can’t afford to miss the community of fellow Christ-followers and the challenge of corporate worship!

Following Jesus is not a private spiritual journey lived out independent of the fellowship of believers and the needs of others. A clear distinctive of the life of faith is that Jesus calls us into community with God and one another. No one truly comes to Christ only to be left alone.

The continuing work of redemption, sanctification, and reconciliation takes place in community. God’s presence is made real in Koinonia, through the proclamation of the Word; in worship; as we care for each other; and by serving one another in Christ’s name.

We are “members of God’s household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit” (Eph 2:19-22).

Scripture, the writings of great men of Faith, and our own experience confirms a deep conviction that God reveals Himself in and through the “Body” as we gather for worship, encouragement, and serving one another. The early Christians knew that “the Most High does not live in houses made by men” (Acts 7:48).

The language used in the Old and New Testaments to describe the presence of God always underscores the community of God’s people. Practicing the presence of God is never a private, solitary experience. Personal devotion is not in isolation from the biblical community. It is no more possible to follow Christ apart from the church than it is to have a shower without getting wet.

I Can Do Nothing By Myself

Today, January 21, 2015, would’ve been Lois’ 62nd Birthday. I’ve received phone calls, texts, emails – thanks for your thoughtfulness.

The past three months have been interesting as I’ve navigated through being a permanent pastor without Lois by my side. I miss the conversations, help remembering names, and times we spent praying for and with people. I miss her praying for me! Once again being in a leadership role in the rhythm of church life has surfaced anew all the ways we complimented each other. She was my partner!

Job said, “The Lord gives and the Lord takes away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1:21) Little did I know how many times I would repeat those words. Sometimes I mean them. Other times I repeat them because I want to mean them.

There are times when I think, “I can’t do this” but at the same time I recall Jesus’ words: “I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself. . . “ (John 5:19). As someone who is striving to follow Jesus better, I too, can do nothing by myself. And so I am learning (still) to follow more closely, watch more carefully, listen more intently, pray more fervently . . .

I’ve said this many times and it bears repeating: Lois’ cancer and death does not define me. I am defined by Christ in me and that is my hope. It is God, through the power of His Spirit, who strengthens, encourages, compels, and empowers me to live each day for His Glory and the expansion of His Kingdom.

FALSELY ACCUSED – GUILTY ANYWAY

In the past 24 hours I’ve been on the phone multiple times with Bob* & Lori*, a couple I’ve known for more than ten years – since they were nineteen. Lois and I were at their wedding and we’ve stayed in contact as they completed their education and Bob began working in a church as the youth pastor. This morning I looked and found the letter of recommendation I wrote when Bob applied for this position five years ago. Last night at the church leadership meeting Bob was given an ultimatum: resign within 24 hours or, on Sunday morning it would be announced that he had been fired for “inappropriate conduct with an underage girl.”

About two weeks ago, Corrie*, a 16 yr old girl in the youth group, sent Bob a text. She attended a party where there was lots of alcohol and couples pairing off. She woke up not remembering much and now she was afraid she might be pregnant; she had questions and wanted to talk. Bob agreed to meet her at the local coffee shop – a favorite with the youth and a place he often met with teens. 

That night Lori and Bob talked about Corrie’s situation and prayed for her. Corrie continued to text Bob; they exchanged more than 200 texts over the next two weeks and Lori read most of those texts because she and Bob don’t have secrets. In spite of encouragement from Bob, Corrie did not want to talk to her mom and step-dad. They didn’t go to church at all and had problems of their own. Corrie thought her mom was already talking to a lawyer about a divorce.

Wednesday morning, while Corrie was in the shower, her phone rang and her mother answered. That call was soon forgotten as she began looking at Corrie’s text messages. She found the thread of messages with Bob about Corrie’s fear of being pregnant. 

Corrie’s mom demanded to know what was going on – and Bob’s last name. In spite of Corrie’s protests her mom was convinced she was having an affair with the youth pastor. That afternoon Corrie’s mom went to the church, with Corrie’s phone in hand, angry and screaming and threatening a lawsuit.  

The senior pastor looked at the texts – all the way back to the first ones where the meeting at the coffee shop was set up. Alcohol, parties, meetings at the coffee shop, fear of pregnancy – without Corrie and/or Bob & Lori to explain, the evidence was overwhelming. 

By this time Corrie borrowed a friend’s phone and called Bob to tell him about her mom but he was still surprised by the terse call he got from the senior pastor: come to the church right now.

When Bob walked into the church office he found the senior pastor, the chair of the church board, and Corrie’s mom. He was asked if he had talked or communicated with Corrie in any way in the past three hours. He said yes. Bob was stunned when the church board chair sternly suggested he say nothing more until he spoke to a lawyer. 

Bob saw no need for a lawyer – he’d done nothing wrong. He tried to explain and the senior pastor attempted to come to his defense but Corrie’s mom was unconvinced. She knew all about priests and pastors who prey on teenagers and every man she’d ever met only wanted one thing.  She walked out of the room. The senior pastor and board chair, even though they were trying to be supportive of Bob, couldn’t believe he had been so stupid as to meet with a girl and exchange text messages, many of which mentioned sex and menstrual cycles and parties. Even if Bob was completely innocent – and they wanted to believe that – this didn’t look good.

Then Corrie’s mom walked back in the office and announced she had just called the sheriff. He was on his way over to arrest “this predator” (she pointed to Bob). Bob told me at that point he just went numb. When the sheriff arrived and heard the story he wouldn’t arrest Bob because Corrie was not there to corroborate; her mother was livid and this time left the building. 

Thursday morning Corrie showed up at Bob & Lori’s house. She can’t believe this is happening and wants to leave home and stay with Bob & Lori. They had to say no. That night the church leadership met. Bob & Lori and Corrie told their story and felt they were understood. They answered a lot of questions and, after some discussion, were asked to leave the room.

The church leadership decided it was “best for the reputation of the church” for Bob to resign. 

Even though God looks at the heart, people look at appearances. (See 1 Samuel 16:7)

My heart aches for Bob and Lori. I’ve prayed with them. Wept with them. Read scripture with them. Prayed some more. 

It’s 8:30 pm Friday; I just got off the phone with Bob. We reviewed his resignation letter one last time and he’s on his way to hand-deliver it to the board chair.

I asked Bob and Lori if I could share this because this could easily happen to about 50 people I know. We all need to be careful. If you think “this could never happen to me” you would be just like Bob this past Monday. Now his world has been turned upside down. 

Remember: an unguarded strength quickly becomes a terribly destructive weakness.

*Names have been changed, but this is shared with permission.