Comments on: Grieving is Tough Work http://www.nkuredge.com/2009/10/20/grieving-is-tough-work/ encouragement and information for pastors and church leaders Wed, 02 Jun 2010 13:43:17 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: James Drolet http://www.nkuredge.com/2009/10/20/grieving-is-tough-work/comment-page-1/#comment-2620 James Drolet Tue, 27 Oct 2009 20:41:49 +0000 http://www.nkuredge.com/2009/10/20/grieving-is-tough-work/#comment-2620 Jim, my heart really goes out to you! I was very sad to hear of Lois' passing (I was in China when it happened & found out after I got home). My love & prayers go out to you & your family. I don't have anything profound to say other than you are in my thoughts & prayers. Jim, my heart really goes out to you! I was very sad to hear of Lois’ passing (I was in China when it happened & found out after I got home). My love & prayers go out to you & your family. I don’t have anything profound to say other than you are in my thoughts & prayers.

]]> By: Dan McKinley http://www.nkuredge.com/2009/10/20/grieving-is-tough-work/comment-page-1/#comment-2610 Dan McKinley Sat, 24 Oct 2009 04:52:29 +0000 http://www.nkuredge.com/2009/10/20/grieving-is-tough-work/#comment-2610 Dear Jim, May the peace of Christ be with you and your family in your grief. Give my regards especially to your mother; she and your father were major influences in my life. It's been too many years! Blessings. - Dan McKinley, Minister of Music, Christ the Redeemer Anglican Church, Danvers, Massachusetts Dear Jim,
May the peace of Christ be with you and your family in your grief. Give my regards especially to your mother; she and your father were major influences in my life. It’s been too many years! Blessings. – Dan McKinley, Minister of Music, Christ the Redeemer Anglican Church, Danvers, Massachusetts

]]> By: Ron & Pauline Sonius http://www.nkuredge.com/2009/10/20/grieving-is-tough-work/comment-page-1/#comment-2607 Ron & Pauline Sonius Thu, 22 Oct 2009 16:48:51 +0000 http://www.nkuredge.com/2009/10/20/grieving-is-tough-work/#comment-2607 Dear Brother Jim, It is so good to read how you are working through your grieving process. It's like having a surgery. At first you feel the pain and you are suffering. After the necessary suffering comes to an end it starts to itch. It reminds you of the input that removed Loved One had on your life, that now causes you to think, act and say what you do. Lois has had that very important part in your life. Every time you do something that had her input, you have an itch that you try to scratch, but you want it to continue to itch because it feels so good scratching it. That itching never seems to go away and you are so glad that it don't. It is the feeling that you need to have in order to drive you and give you the energy you need to face tomorrow. The input of her life into yours will always be with you. We pray that the "itch" will never go away and that you will continue to enjoy the scratching. We Love You and Know that the Lord's Love for you will always be Strong. Ron, For Pauline too! Dear Brother Jim, It is so good to read how you are working through your grieving process. It’s like having a surgery. At first you feel the pain and you are suffering. After the necessary suffering comes to an end it starts to itch. It reminds you of the input that removed Loved One had on your life, that now causes you to think, act and say what you do. Lois has had that very important part in your life. Every time you do something that had her input, you have an itch that you try to scratch, but you want it to continue to itch because it feels so good scratching it. That itching never seems to go away and you are so glad that it don’t. It is the feeling that you need to have in order to drive you and give you the energy you need to face tomorrow.
The input of her life into yours will always be with you. We pray that the “itch” will never go away and that you will continue to enjoy the scratching. We Love You and Know that the Lord’s Love for you will always be Strong. Ron, For Pauline too!

]]> By: Miriam Crouch http://www.nkuredge.com/2009/10/20/grieving-is-tough-work/comment-page-1/#comment-2606 Miriam Crouch Wed, 21 Oct 2009 19:27:05 +0000 http://www.nkuredge.com/2009/10/20/grieving-is-tough-work/#comment-2606 Hi, Jim. I'm so sorry that people can be so unintentionally hurtful. They often want to "fix" the problem so they don't have to feel uncomfortable along with you. Hopefully what I am about to share won't fit in that category. Obviously, I have never had to grieve the death of a spouse, but when my Mom died, I read a book which was called "30 Seconds After You Die" or something like that by Dr. Lutzer, I believe. One thing that really has helped me from that book is realizing that since we know our believing loved one is with Jesus, there should be nothing wrong with giving Christ a message for our loved one from us. I have often done this when I really missed my Mom. I also wrote God a letter telling Him exactly how I felt, and that helped some, too. However, I know there are no "quick fixes" and grief hurts A LOT!!! And, it hurts for a long time. Our hearts ache for you and your family. We love Lois, too. She was (and is) and wonderful mentor and friend with a true servant's heart. Miriam Crouch (and Steve and family) Hi, Jim. I’m so sorry that people can be so unintentionally hurtful. They often want to “fix” the problem so they don’t have to feel uncomfortable along with you. Hopefully what I am about to share won’t fit in that category. Obviously, I have never had to grieve the death of a spouse, but when my Mom died, I read a book which was called “30 Seconds After You Die” or something like that by Dr. Lutzer, I believe. One thing that really has helped me from that book is realizing that since we know our believing loved one is with Jesus, there should be nothing wrong with giving Christ a message for our loved one from us. I have often done this when I really missed my Mom. I also wrote God a letter telling Him exactly how I felt, and that helped some, too. However, I know there are no “quick fixes” and grief hurts A LOT!!! And, it hurts for a long time. Our hearts ache for you and your family. We love Lois, too. She was (and is) and wonderful mentor and friend with a true servant’s heart.

Miriam Crouch (and Steve and family)

]]> By: Mary Wilson http://www.nkuredge.com/2009/10/20/grieving-is-tough-work/comment-page-1/#comment-2605 Mary Wilson Wed, 21 Oct 2009 19:07:59 +0000 http://www.nkuredge.com/2009/10/20/grieving-is-tough-work/#comment-2605 Jim: You have been so strong. I admire you. It has been just little over a year ago that sister Mildred went to be with the Lord and the rest of my brothers and Sister, Mom and Dad. My birthday was just Monday, I told Mary, that I was really going to miss Mildred's phone call and birthday card. She was alloways so good about staying in touch. We miss our loved ones. Please stay in touch Jack Jim:
You have been so strong. I admire you. It has been just little over a year ago that sister Mildred went to be with the Lord and the rest of my brothers and Sister, Mom and Dad. My birthday was just Monday, I told Mary, that I was really going to miss Mildred’s phone call and birthday card. She was alloways so good about staying in touch. We miss our loved ones.
Please stay in touch
Jack

]]> By: Dave Nolte http://www.nkuredge.com/2009/10/20/grieving-is-tough-work/comment-page-1/#comment-2604 Dave Nolte Wed, 21 Oct 2009 14:52:32 +0000 http://www.nkuredge.com/2009/10/20/grieving-is-tough-work/#comment-2604 Jim . . . God has so "gifted" you with that special ability to speak clearly, insightfully, and meaningfully from the heart! [And you're sharing things which will be so helpful to anyone going through the ultimate grief of losing a lifetime lover/partner/spouse . . . as a very credible witness (precisely because you're living through it, by God's grace, yourself).] Thanks much! Our Confirmation Class has one more session (coming up October 28th) on "Death, Dying, and Our Christian Hope", and I've take the liberty of making copies of your "testimony" here. Thank you for the privilege. I know that your witness will plant seeds of thought, feeling, and faith in the hearts of our youth which God will use in their futures when they need these insights the most. Blessings! Dave Nolte Jim . . . God has so “gifted” you with that special ability to speak clearly, insightfully, and meaningfully from the heart! [And you're sharing things which will be so helpful to anyone going through the ultimate grief of losing a lifetime lover/partner/spouse . . . as a very credible witness (precisely because you're living through it, by God's grace, yourself).] Thanks much!
Our Confirmation Class has one more session (coming up October 28th) on “Death, Dying, and Our Christian Hope”, and I’ve take the liberty of making copies of your “testimony” here. Thank you for the privilege. I know that your witness will plant seeds of thought, feeling, and faith in the hearts of our youth which God will use in their futures when they need these insights the most.
Blessings!
Dave Nolte

]]> By: Dick and Betty http://www.nkuredge.com/2009/10/20/grieving-is-tough-work/comment-page-1/#comment-2603 Dick and Betty Wed, 21 Oct 2009 13:44:13 +0000 http://www.nkuredge.com/2009/10/20/grieving-is-tough-work/#comment-2603 Dear Jim, People don't mean to be cruel, but they don't know what to say. When I lost my first husband I learned that it takes years to lose the sorrow, if you ever do. When Wayne died I never got mad at God, but I sure did get mad at Wayne for going to be with Jesus and leaving me to raise 4 children under the age of 8 by myself. We are looking forward to seeing you soon. Love, The Lamb's Dear Jim,
People don’t mean to be cruel, but they don’t know what to say.
When I lost my first husband I learned that it takes years to lose the sorrow, if you ever do.

When Wayne died I never got mad at God, but I sure did get mad at Wayne for going to be with Jesus and leaving me to raise 4 children under the age of 8 by myself.

We are looking forward to seeing you soon.
Love, The Lamb’s

]]> By: Phil Harris http://www.nkuredge.com/2009/10/20/grieving-is-tough-work/comment-page-1/#comment-2602 Phil Harris Wed, 21 Oct 2009 11:59:15 +0000 http://www.nkuredge.com/2009/10/20/grieving-is-tough-work/#comment-2602 Jim I recall visiting one of the families at Oakthorpe and they had been married 50 plus years.....however when I would talk with him he would always bring up his first wife who died within the first year of their marriage. "you will get over it"....what an unthoughtful thing to say, though one understands his/her thougt of aiming to be comforting. You have already built a house of memories....those will always be there and what comfort they will be. I think of and pray for you each day as well as the family during the "grieving" time. Thanks for being you. Your friend in Christ, Phil Jim
I recall visiting one of the families at Oakthorpe and they had been married 50 plus years…..however when I would talk with him he would always bring up his first wife who died within the first year of their marriage. “you will get over it”….what an unthoughtful thing to say, though one understands his/her thougt of aiming to be comforting. You have already built a house of memories….those will always be there and what comfort they will be. I think of and pray for you each day as well as the family during the “grieving” time. Thanks for being you.
Your friend in Christ,
Phil

]]> By: Carol Giovanetto http://www.nkuredge.com/2009/10/20/grieving-is-tough-work/comment-page-1/#comment-2601 Carol Giovanetto Wed, 21 Oct 2009 03:16:04 +0000 http://www.nkuredge.com/2009/10/20/grieving-is-tough-work/#comment-2601 Thank you, Jim for sharing your grief process. As the tears run down my face from reading this, it helps me a little. And yet I still ask why the Lord chose to take Lois now and not let such a wonderful marriage grow old (very old) together. I see marriages end so easily (at least it seems so to me) and they have no witness like you and Lois did. I guess your witness is what you had and that you can tell it to others. Thank you for that! But my heart is still so heavy for the lose you and all your family must deal with each day. The more I live, the more I see what I will never understand in this life. I know I have to "let go and let God", but more often that is hard to do because I don't want to. I didn't want to let Lois go, still don't. But it's not my choice. And I have to submit to it, like it or not. Knowing we WILL see Lois again is the only thing that makes all this grief bearable. Please continue to stay in touch. Love and prayers, Carol Thank you, Jim for sharing your grief process. As the tears run down my face from reading this, it helps me a little. And yet I still ask why the Lord chose to take Lois now and not let such a wonderful marriage grow old (very old) together. I see marriages end so easily (at least it seems so to me) and they have no witness like you and Lois did. I guess your witness is what you had and that you can tell it to others. Thank you for that! But my heart is still so heavy for the lose you and all your family must deal with each day. The more I live, the more I see what I will never understand in this life. I know I have to “let go and let God”, but more often that is hard to do because I don’t want to. I didn’t want to let Lois go, still don’t. But it’s not my choice. And I have to submit to it, like it or not. Knowing we WILL see Lois again is the only thing that makes all this grief bearable. Please continue to stay in touch. Love and prayers, Carol

]]> By: Richard & Mary Bakken http://www.nkuredge.com/2009/10/20/grieving-is-tough-work/comment-page-1/#comment-2600 Richard & Mary Bakken Wed, 21 Oct 2009 03:08:07 +0000 http://www.nkuredge.com/2009/10/20/grieving-is-tough-work/#comment-2600 I checked just yesterday to see if there had been any new postings. Thank you for sharing your heart and insights and what the Lord is teaching and you are learning. We all miss Lois is different ways and it's so good to know that God heals each of our griefs in just the ways that we need it - so individually. We continue to pray for you and the kids in your process. I checked just yesterday to see if there had been any new postings. Thank you for sharing your heart and insights and what the Lord is teaching and you are learning. We all miss Lois is different ways and it’s so good to know that God heals each of our griefs in just the ways that we need it – so individually. We continue to pray for you and the kids in your process.

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